why does your life suck?

I'm stuck in a head game that every one loves to play except I don't understand how they play it, especially when its in my head. I just need to realize I can't read my own mind.

well, like everyone else on this site I am poor. But guess what, for the most part ITS NOT OUR FAULT! Look at the friggin gas prices! That affects EVERYTHING. I got in trouble at work, but guess what ITS NOT MY FAULT!! They cannot afford to hire more people so we are all struggling. I am overweight. but guess what ITS NOT MY FAULT. I cannot afford the types of food that are healthy. My cat hates me and bites me all the time but guess what ITS NOT MY FAULT. I have to work all the time and the poor thing is just ticked off. I have a ton of other things in my life that are not my fault as well... suicide, crappy childhood, divorse, etc. I THINK ITS ABOUT TIME THAT WE STOP FEELING SAD AND START GETTING ANGERY! Hey maybe its not healthy but WTF its better than feeling depressed. Anger is at least showing that we are passioniate about something.

I was painfully shy as a child, therefore I became a daily target for the school bullies. I tried to defend myself, but my efforts only made things worse and as a result I became even more introverted. I was mentally and physically abused by my peers until the day I graduated from high school, but my mom always encouraged me to keep making good grades since I am intelligent. She told me the best revenge in life is success and that I would become successful while my classmates went on to mediocrity. I did graduate high school with honors and I was accepted into a school of pharmacy. I was excited to have a fresh start in life with people who did not know me, so I made a very concerted effort to know all of my college classmates. There was no outright abuse or name calling, but many of my new peers let it quickly be known that I was an unwelcome intrusion. I did end up with acquaintances who more or less just wanted to compare notes while everyone else seemed to find their niche. My only defense mechanism was the one that help me to survive high school - study hard and become successful. I also graduated pharmacy school with honors and after passing my boards, headed out into the world as a career woman. I did find a job and was excited to start earning the big bucks and to have all that hard work start to pay off. I was working at a pharmacy established inside of a chain grocery store and yet again I found myself shunned. I was polite and always said hi to everyone in the various grocery departments, yet there was hardly any recognition of my existence. I continued to work hard and developed wonderful relationships with my customers, but the pharmacy manager ultimately drove them away. He was slow and rude to the customers, yet he told funny stories to all the employees and was very well liked. He was even voted employee of the month by the other workers despite numerous customer complaints. He became such a problem that the customers would call the customer service desk to ask if I was working so they could come get their prescriptions. The store manager finally decided to call corporate when the complaints became too great to ignore any longer and I ended up getting transferred to another location. The corporate managers were going to fire the manager and close the pharmacy, but they wanted to keep me as an employee. I did not protest since I wanted to keep my job, but corporate ended up only demoting the manager and bought out a competitor and hired their pharmacist to be the new manager. I went to the new store and again I had an icy reception from the other workers. I was very unhappy and requested a transfer back to my original store when I heard rumors about the demoted pharmacist finally being fired. I kept the request on the QT, but the information somehow found it's way back to my new store. My new pharmacy manager interpreted the request as an insult and threw me under the bus. She had the corporate pharmacy managers make a special unannounced visit to talk to me about my conduct. It was one of the worst experiences of my adult life. During the 8 years that I worked for the company, I never took a sick day, I never had a customer complaint, and I only misfilled one prescription (the national average is one a month per pharmacist). Despite my outstanding performance, I was not viewed as a team player and was told to improve my attitude. To this day I still shy away from confrontation, so I went along with the intervention and told them I would improve myself. I was put on probation, but I manifested severe physical problems as a result of the microscope I was now living under. I made great efforts to say hi everyday, even to the people who would not reciprocate, lest they should run to management and further inflame the issue. I did find another job with a nation-wide pharmacy chain, and guess what- the cycle continues. The moral of the story is that it does not matter how hard you work or how few mistakes you make filling prescriptions, it all comes down to personality, networking, politics, and butt-kissing. I still feel like the little child who was physically and emotionally pushed around and somewhere out there I imagine my old classmates are still laughing at me. Life truly is a four letter word and is perhaps the most offensive.

I have severe generalized anxiety disorder. I am incapable of happiness. If I go into a room with a lot of people I have a major panic attack. I am a computer technician but if I try to talk about something unrelated to computers I melt down. Most of the people I know don't like me. And the nearest I've ever gotten to a girl I like caused me to puke my brains out in anxiety.

the masses of people that suffocate my existence are all totally susceptible to the subconscious suggestions of our consumerist society. This makes them ignorant, sociopaths who where born simply to be exploited, influenced or led by others, and utterly incapable of having their own thoughts or point of view. on account of their general ignorance and obsession with the trivial sensationalist bs in the media i find it hard to even motivate myself to connect with anyone anymore. my single hope is to try to seek out others that tower above these chattering morons but searching through interacting with the majority of these mental abominations is just so soul destroying.... Obsessing over usual "issues" such as self image, fashion, status symbols, personal wealth etc. have created a selfish, disconnected and profoundly unhappy population, totally unaware of their own self perpetuating depressing reality, with which i have to deal with everyday for the rest of my life. Not only do they annoy and disgust me, but they make me feel more lonely and alienated then when i am actually by myself. just realize consumer society is design to make you always desire more (and thus keep spending), not to satisfy you real needs in any way! these people are sheep, when group physiology kicks in with their peer group they sh*t themselves every time. and so it is a self perpetrating system and these masses of mentally weak individuals yielding too easily to the lowliest most base physiological reactions are the glue.

my web hosting company really makes me feel sick. Hostdepartment.com server keeps going down and I really can't handle it anymore. I will immediately move servers but it takes time to find one. My ad costs has increased a lot to only find that the web server wasn't working and no one can order online. It's hard to explain but this has really frustrated and depressed me!

I am a soon to be divorced 25 year old mother of three and neither of the fathers want to help raise their children finacially, emotionally, or physically. I am about to lose my home and have no income, no savings, absolutely nothing that is mine. I feel so tired of being walked on and yet there is nothing I can do. If I say thats it you take the kids and raise them then who knows what will become of them but if they turn out bad I will be partly to blame and if they turn out good I will be known as the one that nothing to do with it, it is a lose lose situation. All I ever wanted was to go to school so I wouldnt have to struggle finacially but my daughter came to soon for that, even though I have tried to go on to further my education, its like I take one step forward and two steps back and Ill never finish anything for myself. Nothing ever goes good for me and when I think it is, is when I get slapped right in the face with reality. That is some detail of why my life sucks!

i help everybody that ever comes up to me and asks for help even if i dont know them i owe thousands of dollars and im only twenty peolpe use me and treat me like shit im my dads little work horse and my family hates me no matter how hard i try i can never feel any better i have two ingrown toenails and no health insurance so i cant get it fixed so i live in constant pain people have told me i have low self esteem or im to hard on myself but i just give an honest answer when people ask about me but the thing that gets me the most is no one has time for me when they need em im there but god forbid i need something no one wants to talk or deal with me if im too tired to do something im abadoning them but if they are too tired or just dont want to its fine so i think ive just reached a point where i dont want to deal with any of this shit anymore

My life sucks because every 5 or 6 months I cough up blood and dont know why, It lasts for about an hour or so and I just about pass out from blood loss. Ive been doing this for many years and have gone to numerous doctors that turn out to be completely worthless and dont give me any explanation or help. Still live with my parents and have never moved out nor do I have a job and also can not find one, I have sent out a million resumes and have not gotten any call backs, even with some college under my belt I get nothing. I have tons of debt now (medical bills, etc.) with no money to pay for anything I wish it was the old days because I would definitely go rob a bank. I am now getting into my late 20's and have nothing to show for my time here. I have numerous other problems but dont want to say because my luck, the couple friends I have may stumble upon this page and figure out who this is if I put to much. One last thing to the people that think god is watching over us and taking care of us, Haha yeah right if he is real and not just a story he obviously picks favorites.

I came to the U.S. with my family through a visa. My younger brother and I knew nothing about immigration until our mother told us our visa expired. I can't drive, find a job, go to the college of my choice, and we're currently awaiting news of our appeal before a judge. I've been here since I was 3 1/2 years old...now I'm 18. Just posting this puts fear in my haert about what people will think, but my life already sucks. How worse could it get. All the dreams I've ever had when I was a child may be demolished and blame it on my ignorant father who believes that being a citizen of the U.S. isn't the family's #1 priority. As soon as I can become a permanent resident, I'm getting my citizenship no matter what anyone says. Maybe then I can do some good in my life and finally close this chapter that's been haunting me since the age of 15. Anyone reading this and are a citizen, you are trully blessed. Don't take the life that you have for granted. I try my hardest to tell myself that I'll never end up like my father who is careless of other people's thoughts, who swears he's a "saint", and who hates his wife. I wish I knew what to do with myself, but I'm lost. I'm at a stand-still. But most of all, my life sucks because I can't see my girlfriend who lives all the way in Florida. God bless.

Well,I have a great girlfriend and a good batch of friends ,but I basically hate myself.I'm getting very close to the point in my life where I must go out into the world but I haven't the slightest of what I want to do.I work as hard as I can in school,but I feel like for what? Really the only solace I get is from music, but even now that is killing me to.I work so hard in band,but I just end up feeling stupid and unaccomplished. People tell me that I do fine in a about everything I do but I don't see how seeing I mortally suck 80 percent of the time.I feel like I'm always gonna be just average no matter how above average I aspire to be.It's not really like my mum and dad care.We don't really talk much anymorenot after me and my dad got into fights a few years ago.It's the same everyday I go home and lock myself in my room and from them and all the yelling and fighting.I've tried to convince myslef to hate them,that maybe that would make everything better cause I wouldn't care about waht they say,but it hasn't. I try to keep these things in from my girlfriend,I've told her enough already and I don't want any of it to jepordize our relationship.I hate doing that to her,she defiantely doesn't deserve that.She has helped me a lot though,but now thr rest is up to me. Up to me,well I don't know about that.I will admit very quickly that everybody else on here has worse problems than me.But if I could just myself,if only that little gear would click inside me,then I would save myself.But it hasn't,I've been waiting for it to click for four years.I only hope that God is putting me through a rough path to show me another road I haven't seen before,I'll keep praying but I can't help but feel despair A good lot of the time

My wife of 18 years left me for a guy dumber than concrete. Then she took my kids away from me and arranges things so I don't get to see them. Then she took half my salary for child support which she and her boyfriend use for drugs, booze, and supporting their internet porn site. With this loss of salary, I can no longer support my family and I'm about to loose my house. But most of all, I really miss my kids.

My life sucks cuz i am 36 years old and i have a shitty job outside of US. I have stopped talking to my mom cuz she was afraid i took her house from her. what kind of mom is that? Now she makes me not want to talk to her anymore, so i stop talking to her. I don have a life cuz I am already married and i can't forget around, further, my bitchy wife doesn't like sex. I end up jacking off twice a day. Some damn bastard borrowed 40k from me and ran off with his god damn girl friend. i risk my neck for him and he betrayed me like this. feel so hurt and betrayed. Uggh....

I live across the country from my family, I hate my job, and my boyfriend has recently told me that he's unhappy and not sure if he wants to try to keep it together. He focuses on one negative in every set of positives and I feel horrible because of it. I am the common denominator in things going wrong in my life and I'm not sure what I need to do to change this; situations seem to follow me around non-stop. I'm finishing a degree program and feel like I'm stuck here for at least another year when all I really want to do is go somewhere else. I can't figure out why God has trouble and heartache follow me everywhere I go.

So much crap has happened in the last couple of years & I feel like there is some sort of curse hanging over me. My son had a drug problem, then a nervous breakdown and is now alcohol dependant to get through each day. We are pretty much stuck with him now as there doesn't seem any way he will ever stand on his own 2 feet. My brother died of leukaemia last year quite suddenly which I am still coming to terms with. My daughter felt she had to find her biological father (who made no contribution to her life) which I understand but cannot really accept as he was a total loser & still is by all accounts. That really hurt especially has she has the best "dad" in the world (my husband) who has brought her up for the last 32 years. We feel like our lives are over and all we do is work so we can live on this god forsaken planet. I know they say we should all think positive but it's pretty hard to keep getting up after being knocked down so many times. We don't want much, just a normal life with a future would be nice.

i worked and worked and worked in law school, through my sister dying, and through my wife cheating on me, trying to work it out because it was the right thing to do, then having her abandon me when i became depressed, and now i can't even find a job, my money is low, the bills are piling up, i am 150,000 dollars in debt, and i'm in love with a girl i shouldn't be in love with, and the work just didn't pay off, I put a good face on it, I laugh, I am fun to be with, but on the inside I know everything that makes me happy will go away. and i don't know how to stop it, because all i want to do is to have work, a career, but i am stuck in a trap. stuck in a trap.

okay we'll be here for a while. i cant get over my childhood because my parents got divorced when i was three i think i missed out, never having seen my parents happy and in love. my mom got custody, but she drank and got high all the time and cared more about herself and who ever her boyfriend was at the time instead of me my brother and my sister. she would get somethin for herself to eat from the store, wouldnt let us have any even though we were starving and the only food in the house had roaches livin in it. i was always teased cuz i was the "smart kid" and cuz i went to mentally gifted classes, and i dressed funny cuz i only had hand-me-downs cuz she would spend my dad's child support on beer and drugs. one of her boyfriends tried to look at me all the time when i was goin to the bathroom or takin a shower. she would ignore us, we would be screaming MOM MOM MOM MOM over and over and she would close her eyes and just ignore us. I finally moved in with my dad so i could actually continue to be in existence (my brother had moved in with him a year before and my sis has a different dad or else my dad wouldve taken her too) cuz she had lost the house n her n my sis went to stay at my grandmoms. every time i would try to go see her she's be over her boyfriend's (i found out recently she was over there smokin crack..literally smokin crack) then she got a new boyfriend n decided to move to 1,000 miles away to florida. she took my sister and she didnt even say goodbye. a little after she moved i started smokin weed, running away from home because i wasnt happy my dad never paid attention or did anything for me i was the only girl i knew at 14 who had to have a job just so she could have clothes and shoes and a little spending money. and he makes good money but liked to spend it on his night out, drinkin n buyin rounds for all his friends like he's a made man (till he got sober a year ago). i was stealin cars at 14 n me n my best friends got caught, we ended up on house arrest n then cuttin it off cuz some jerkoff dudes we wouldnt give the time of day told our community service leader at the courthouse that we were dumpin out expensive cleanin solution when we werent they were n our parents were snappin on us for nothin so we both got put in juvy facilities. they split us up the first couple hours we were in the detention center. i found out i was diabetic in the detention center. spent my birthday there.i got sent to some rehab cuz the courts thought i wasnt a bad kid i just had a drug problem cuz i smoked weed. i got in trouble there so i ran. got back to my home town, and my dad caught me 10 days later he put me over his shoulder n carried me home i got sent back to the detention center, sent back to the rehab. did good, got out, started smokin again. got locked up again for breakin probation although i had went to my probation officer n told her i wanted to go to an outpatient, that i had relapsed, she said she didnt want me put away, but at court the judge didnt care cuz he knew me n knew all my friends n decided to send me all the way across state for 10 months, spent my 16th birthday there. dad told me when i got out he'd have a big celebration for me for missing my sweet 16. got out, didnt get a celebration, had to spend almost 6 months on probation even though my new probation officer said she wanted to let me off after my 3 month check-up courtdate. but nooo the judge said he wanted to see how i did over the summer. then when i was finally sposta get off probation he wouldnt even take my case that day another judge had to tell me i was finally done. i was workin again but i got kicked out of school cuz i didnt go for a couple weeks cuz i was sick with my diabetes i was only 17 legally they werent allowed to do that.I got fired cuz i called out cuz my grammom got rushed to the hospital. had to break up with my boyfriend because my ex-boyfriend who had hurt me for like 3 year decided he wanted to start a frickin war n if i didnt break up with him all hell wouldve broke loose. i got a new job, tried to avoid the ex-disaster, got together with one of my greatest friends, he ended up cheatin on me with my best friend and other girls too, we broke up n were still friends n they he shot someone brought the gun to my house n only told me he had shot at someone's house to scare them, asked me to hold i told him i would, he came to get it the next day. he got looked up soon after that n then i found out what had really happened. had meaningless relationships with a couple people. then my job started forgetin me over so i walked out n moved to florida the next day. had to come back to take care of my grammom that lives with me cuz my dad had to go to rehab so i had to drop out of school there. came home, had some more meaningless relationships. all the while making my ex-disaster hurt for 3 years like he did me. it finally ended with him screaming through my basement window at 4 in the morning and my brother almost gettin short cuz he told him n his friend to leave.found a nice boyfriend. didnt have a job for a while. got my ged, boyfriend wouldnt do anything with himself.just got a job and now me and him are breakin up, it's my longest straight relationship ever ( me n disaster were on and off all the time). it almost 9 months and its funny because i should be devastated and really i'm kind of relieved. my life just forgetin sucks hopefully it's gonna be better with a job and without the whiny, lazy, loser-face.

I just turned 22 and I still live at home with my parents. I have a decent job and make decent money but I am constantly jealous of my friends who all make more money than me and are buying houses and stuff. Most of my friends are married or engaged, and they are all older than me. I never talk to girls my age for multitudes of reasons including my shyness and just the fact that I don't know what to say or do around them. I can do the small talk stuff but then beyond that I just kind of sit there... and then they go away. Living with my parents makes a sex life non-existent for me and I hate every second of it. People way more screwed up than me have relationships, I have no idea what's wrong with me. I am so alone and I get annoyed with people for no reason. Ugh, well thanks for reading.

I'm so depressed. A Bachelor of Science, excellent references, an awesome resume... worthless (except for the $20K in debt that I owe). I sit here in my one-room apartment and want to hurt myself to try to drain out some of the pain inside. I think tonight's the night I take action instead of just sitting here feeling miserable.


im 17, i live in a hellhole where im treated like a baby, yet i fully support myself besides the roof over my head. my high school has been dreadful while all my friends can enjoy their lives as they wish. well that is my wish but my parents wont allow it to happen. i live an upper class city, yet i bunk with my brother, my bedtime is 10 pm, and i ride my dads bike from 20 years ago whenever i have to get somewhere, like the place i work 5 days a week. its always nice when someone from your school drives by in their brand new car only to laugh at the only f ing senior in school who rides a bike. what i especially love about my life is i try so hard to fit in and live it up with all my friends but theres always a road block that keeps me from getting there. the funny thing is i act like one day things will magically change but in reality "life isnt fair". this website is my proof for that.

I really don't appreciate what I have. My downfall is high expectations. I can't stop thinking bad things. I'm a psychological disaster. It will be my downfall.

I've been married for 7 years because it seemed like the right thing to do... now i've fallen in love with the most wonderful person i've ever met in my life- Oh, she happens to be my best friends wife- and you know what? she loves me too...but she's committed to the vows she made...so now, i'm not happy in the marriage i have, and the woman i love won't be with me even though she loves me too. I hate my life.

I screwed everything up somewhere and now I'm trapped in this stupid place with this stupid data entry job 8 hours away from everyone I know and care about. I am here because I couldn't get any other job. I worked really hard to get somewhere in life, and I have a bachelor of science, a really great resume, awesome references, and I speak several languages. It doesn't count for anything!! I never thought my life would come to this dead end. I'm trapped in a lease for a studio apartment i can barely afford, I skip meals on weekends because I just don't care anymore, I start crying several time a day, and I wish I could just hurt myself a little bit physically to let some of the pain out that I've got inside. I've started drinking because a few shots of vodka seem to make my brain slow down and forget about my life. I'm not sure where I went wrong in life to get here. Sometimes I think God must be punishing me for having such an awesome life and for spending all of my time and money on myself (college tuition) instead of on helping the poor or fixing the world.

i can't see