why does your life suck?
I have spent 20 years of my life either helping my overwhelmingly dysfunctional family, physically and emotionally... but for over 15 years, off and on for the public as an EMT. So many horrible things have happened in my past (mainly childhood tragedies and things Ive experienced professionally) and are currently happening in my present, that I really would like to give up. I can't find steady employment that pays reasonably and my prescriptons and doctors appointments are cheaper without insurance than with... but I have to carry it due to The Affordable Health Act. Way to go life.
I'm a failure. I'm not good at anything that I do. I'm so insecure I don't want to be in public. I'm trying to get my degree but am finding myself falling more and more behind with every obstacle that pops up in my life. On top of that I'm already going into college extremely unprepared considering I barely got by. Not to mention my job sucks. I have friends, a great family, and a boyfriend. Yet, I feel so alone. Nobody understands the way I feel. I look to people for advice but none of it is what I want to hear. I wouldn't mind to die but I'm too scared to kill myself. It seems as though I'm always sick or in pain and there's nothing I can do to change it.
I am 35 and just got put on an unfair 'Performance Improvement Plan' at my job that was total bs and was nonsense fabricated by my inept and inexperienced supervisor so I could be her scapegoat. I got sacrificed because she didn't want to train me and is screwing up in her new role. She was unbearably abusive so I quit. I have no money, can't find a job, and now I'm right back to poverty. I finally had a solid middle class income then NOPE back to the gutter. My supervisor, on the other hand, kept her job, makes lots of money, is travelling internationally for business, and has a committed boyfriend who she lives with. Meanwhile, no man wants me because I am too tall and I have no money all over again. Every Single Thing I have that is somewhat good in my life gets ripped away and the people who completely forget me over are endlessly rewarded and have spouses and money while I rot in poverty and loneliness.
1. my professional future seems murky. I am not smart enough for my job and the skill set I developed is unsuitable for other jobs 2. I am lacking passion for life, I lost interest for most things and I don't know why. Everything seems pointless. I tried to learn music and completely sucked at it. Everything else just doesn't seem interesting at all. 3. I am lazy and full of self-pity. I used to be stronger, now I'm just a pitiful loser 4. My girlfriend doesn't share the same view of love and relationships that I do. To me, she is a cold person. She's not the one, she's not special to me anymore, I don't think I love her. And yet, I don't think I can find a better girlfriend. I'm afraid what I want from a girlfriend is impossible and only exists in movies. Therefore, I feel I can never be happy in a relationship 5. I feel lonely, even having a girlfriend. I like to spend time with her, but it's never enough for me. Most of the time I just feel lonely just like I didn't have a girlfriend 6. I have emotional problems (jealousy, neediness) that seem to be too deep to be solved and maybe make having a relationship the way I want impossible
This world is full of suffering but all everyone wants to do is ignore
I have been diagnosed by my psychologist mary ann with ptsd and I am not healthy anymore. I don't want to have ptsd. I feel ashamed I have it. I avoid people to not bother them with my condition and I can't even communicate with my mother about it because she just blows up and hits me or gets upset so I avoid everyone and I think that's the best thing to do is live the shut in life.
I don't know what I want. What makes me happy. Do I really want this marriage, or am I being manipulated into this? Should I leave? Where should I leave?
My life sucks because for no logical reason that I can remember, I let the love of my life leave me. I didn't even put up a fight. I wish I had known the gravity of what I was doing then. My life also sucks because I'm in my 5th year of college in a major I suck at. Nobody I know understands why I majored in it in the first place and everyone keeps asking me "so what's that good for". It gets old trying to justify spending thousands of dollars on learning something I will inevitably forsake because I was only able to become mediocre at it. On top of that, my ex enjoying the happy, urban/hipster undergrad life I wanted for myself but have yet to achieve since I'm too broke to be a traditional undergrad and have been working full time since sophomore year. Oh. And she's in love with a guy I hate.
My husband wants to have a second wife. He's an alcoholic. He's also blind. I'm obese and can't stop eating. I have no job and no money. I'm on my third husband - my taste in men keeps going downhill. At least the first two never hit or slapped me. I've declared bankruptcy twice. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2001, lost about 90 pounds and have gained back about 70. And I'm 53 years old. All my life I've made stupid decision after stupid decision and I feel like a total loser. At this point, I don't think it's going to get any better.
I am a complete loser in every field . I am a student with great academic record but because of problems I have low attendance in university and They want me to repeat a year at university . My parents blame me for this and everyday get scolded by parents many many times . I love a girl , do everything for her . I am not from rich family . I spend all my pocket money only to buy a good gift for her . After recieve gift She didn't even said once that she like it . She call her my girlfriend only for name . I found her cheated on me and she broke up with me on my birthday , It hurts me badly . All my friends made a distance from me after I get year back . All my friend lost . From last 2 birthdays no one wishes me except my parents . I have no one to talk to . Only keep busy myself by reading books . Still not success as I have a tag of year back with me . No success , Have tag of year back , alone from last 2 years , No friends , parents always blame me , girlfriend dump me on my birthday , I love her so much So no love in my life. So I want to leave this world as early as possible as I have nothing to live for .
I have an eating disorder and my parents do nothing to help me.
I hve 3 baby's mama da one I'm wit now talks to me an da kids any kind of way been out of work for a year an some change behind on bills car broke down 3 kids tat live wit me never saw my life gettin to Tis point sum days I wanna die bcus I get tired of dealing wit Tis bitch an her messed up fam her bro lives wit us I don't say anything bout tat me an her don't talk I jus gotta reach some where an find da strength to carry on but I'm reaching an hve not grab it yet I'm lost again in life tryin to make
My state of mind fluctuates from utter indifference to utter depression, one causing the other. Occasionally I'll get the odd burst of happiness, though in contrast it makes following periods all the worse. I have nothing to live for, no meaning in my life and it's eating away at my very drive to continue.
I have the wish to suicide... not because I have problems in life, but because life is just tiring... and meaningless. Except I'm scared of dying :/ Which throws me into a constant state of procrastinating my death which is weird and makes me sad
Life sucks because life sucks, always has, always will. Almost everything that is said to me sucks. Almost everything I see or experience sucks. My girlfriend does not suck any more, and that sucks. She don't forget any more, that sucks. She wants to do things I don't, that sucks. She likes people that I don't, that sucks. She wants to stay in her home town, well, it sucks. I only stay alive because my mother is still alive and I will not hit her with a suicidal son. Stupid promises that I made 30 years ago, wish I was not a man of my word or I would check out right this moment.
I matter not and my life sucks because i always look ahead into the endgame of things and see dead corpses with maggot like senses all trying to be a part of something squirming together in this melancholic pile of shit called life that all means nothing when we die. I wish medical professionals would euthanize me and put me out of my misery like the animal's we are. they're is nothing good about humans, life, myself, and is all a sick joke to live in and if i can't be put down then i will just sit on some rails and say forget life so i can surely never be cheated on again by such an enduring pain of existence.
I want to stop sinning but I like the sin. When I do what is wrong it makes me feel dirty inside. When I do right I feel there are winds rushing from every side to lift me up. It's a vicious cycle and it seems I can't get out. What does it mean to have faith? I try but I fail... I try not to be a pushover but it seems I'm stuck to being a "boy." I don't even hold respect among my family members and peers. I'm even afraid to change! Pray for me. And I'll pray for you.
I want to die and I am suicidal but I am afraid of where I will go. Up or down? Nothing ever goes my way.
I guess I'm finally accepting that being a decent person gets you no where in life. My life is absolute shit. Everything I touch crumbles before me. Everything wonderful disappears before my eyes. I'm allowed to glimpse it and imagine just to see any possibility of having magic in my life snatched away once again. I can't stand the heartbreaking cruelty of this world. I have no idea why I am here. There's no point in me asking for help, it never comes. I really should just end it
I have nothing but nothing to look forward to. All I can afford to do is work and pay bills. I will have to work till im 80 and drop dead at work so they can pay to bury me.
I'm alone while in a room full of people. I do the best I could possibly do and it is never enough, will never be enough. Even if I found the cure to cancer I would never be happy with myself or my accomplishments. I graduated high school, soon to be the first in my family to graduate college and have the potential to go further in my studies. And yet, it is not good enough. I have little friends because I have trust issues and hate building relationships out of fear of losing someone or being judged by someone. I have crippling depression, anxiety, insomnia, and this life I am living feels constantly fake. I liv in so much misery the only way to survive day to day life is to turn it off. Turn everything off, all emotions and attachment to the world and just live inside my head. Which is even worse considering my head is telling me to" kill myself, you pathetic excuse for a human being"...every five minutes. If it was possible for me to give my life to someone dying right at this moment and let me take their place, I would gladly do it with a smile on my face. My life has been destined to be hell since the moment I took my first breath and I am tired and exhausted of waking up every morning and pretending like any of this shit even matters anymore. Life has no meaning, death is the only certainty that is granted in life. You come into this world alone and you will die alone. Living only prolongs the inevitable fate of any living thing on this planent and if you are miserable everyday, why continue to waste this planets resources on your meaningless existence. I'm done hearing that it gets better. I just want to rest.
I'm running away from my responsibilities. I'm in the middle of an exam period and the only thing I do is watch series or what not, just to avoid starting to study because I'm afraid I can't handle it. Something that becomes this way of course. To make matters worse I'm going through heartbreak and my depression is back just when I thought I had beaten it. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Does it all even matter anymore? I don't see the point of it all.
I worked hard and went to a great school and then nothing. I could not do anything with my degree. I became a disappointment to my mom. I had to move back home. When back to school to get a lower degree to get a job. People look at me as a great disappointment. I've only gotten jobs where they were desperate for people. I worked hard and was treated like shit. I did serve in the military and was treated like shit there too. People constantly took credit for my work. I got passed over for promotion and I was robbed of thousands of dollars of pay due to other people not doing there jobs and filing my paperwork properly. I was overlooked for awards. One time I steped out to used the bathroom and my relief got credit for my work because I had to pee. My NCO did not care. I also earn a spot to go to air assault but was passed over because my NCO did not like me. I was also denied my GI bill and leave which is illegal but it happend when I complained. With rank comes I can do what I want. Then, they try to denied me my legal right to leave by with holding paperwork and threatening another deployment. I was able to get married but I feel all I do is disappoint her. I do everything I can to make her happy but she gets mad at me for not doing enough. I feel she wants a servant and not a husband. I work 5 sometimes 7 days a week but I have to do the cooking, cleaning, yard work because she makes more money. She want me to go back to school to get a better job so she can be a stay at home wife. Her mom hates me and thinks my wife could have done better. I agree she could have but why should I be reminded every time I see her. My wife want kids but not with me. She saids she wants them but never wants to have sex. I think she just with me till she finds better and because I got her the dream home with my VA loan.My twin brother will not talk to me because he blames me for his life problems and I'm not sure what I did. Everyone seems to blame me for everything that goes wrong and I font know why. I'm that stupid that I do not realize how I'm at fault.
I live a life of Mediocrity. I dont like my job but my parents thin it's an amazing job. They look at the pay, I look at the work. At 21, Money has no effect on me. I ofc deserve this job or I wouldn't have gotten sucha bad one. I have work to do but no motivation. I think I'm sinking in self disappointment, losing out on the happy things in life like progress. I really have no idea what to do. It's going to burst someday. I hope I make it through.
i still live in my parents house and i have no direction or motivation to do anything i will probably be one of those people that does literally nothing with their lives and is found dead in a pool of their own vomit one sunday morning who fuccking knows who cares i am such a piece of shit who cares
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